Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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