At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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