Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
