we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
