The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
