She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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