If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You can't motorboat a personality
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
