I'm jealous of your bromance
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
