that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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