I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i will never coherently bang her
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
