Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
