I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
People in love make me want to vomit
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
