Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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