I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
