your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
