id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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