i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
