i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
