Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
