i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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