so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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