ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
