A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
