How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
