People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
