do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
