She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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