Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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