Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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