Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
