all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
