he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
