New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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