I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
