sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
