I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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