thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
