does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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