i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
