she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
