I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So squirting runs in the family.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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