Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
