We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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