Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
