Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Bring me that man meat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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