I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
