I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
