So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
