just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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