i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
