why didn't you poke me back
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
