Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
