It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
