Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
